Knowing what is most important and WHY…

I was talking to my dad the other day and he admitted that there was a moment where he told his doctor who was encouraging him to lose weight and keep it off that he literally lived to eat.

It was surprising to them both to hear those words, but also a huge realization at what those words really meant for my dad.

I think we can all relate. Pleasure is the biggest driving force in human nature!!

How does one navigate here?

I think it’s up to each of us to determine what is most important to us. Start doing the things that help us do what is most important and stop doing the things that keep us from it.

Living in alignment is desireable, right?

Being honest and having integrity is essential to having equilibrium and feeling aligned.

The future is created by the choices we make now. There is only so long we can get away with certain pleasures before they come back to collect interest.

I think this is very much like currency.

How much am I going to squander?

How much am I going to invest?

How long do I want my investment to last?

How much debt do I want to pay and for how long?

What will it cost me to choose the beer and pizza vs the salmon and salad? If I KEEP KEEP KEEP making this choice, what will happen? Would I ever want to tell my grandkids that the reason I can’t run around the park with them is that fried chicken is just too good to say no to. You would rather say no to your grandkids than the fried chicken? No one would ever admit that, but deep down is it possible that we are literally making that choice because we don’t want to have to say no to pleasure, like my dad admitted when he said he lives to eat? I’m not saying don’t ever eat fried chicken!!! Please don’t misinterpret!!

But….When does it go too far? If the boundaries aren’t clear, how do you know when to stop? Why bother stopping? Who wins if you do? Who wins if you don’t? Can you say no? Can you say no again? Does it feel like you are obsessed thinking about it? Do you obsess over food? Do you have FOMO? Do you have self control? Are you confident that self control will be there when you need it? Is there an addiction? Is the food and the pleasure in control, or are you? Do you make excuses for your choices?

There is no “right or wrong” answer here, just that you are honest within yourself. You are making the choices, not anything or anyone else.

Much of the time, the debt is to be collected from our choices is due the very next day with sluggishness, inflamed joints, plugged up or overly active intestines, insomnia, moodiness. Other times it’s more gradual and eventually shows up in our ability to be mobile, in blood work, in our ability to do fun activities and create memories with family.

There are definitely days I choose the things I know in advance I will need to “recover” from. But how many days of my life do I really want to set aside for “recovering” vs getting out there and fully living?

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This is not just about the food we put in our body, it’s also the content we put in our mind, what and who we allow in our surroundings.

We become most like who and what we spend the most time with. We ingrain habits just by doing certain things on repeat. And, it’s so easy to fall back into old habits once we say, “just this once”. It’s how we are wired.

We have to fight for self-control. It isn’t just there. We have to practice having it.

And, we have to ask for it and claim it. The Holy Spirit dwells inside those that want Him to, but can be crowded out with our own loud thoughts and monkey mind. The wisdom and intuition we are seeking is in there, but we have to practice listening intently and being in touch with that still small voice. Are the cravings for pleasure louder than that quiet voice of discernment? Are we looking to food or drink for our comfort, or to our Comfortor? Are our addictions really going to submit and bow down without putting reigns on and setting strong intentional clear boundaries? Will we not be fighting the same battles we are today if we don’t take steps to ingrain a new path and slay the offenders holding us back once and for all? Are we really on our own with this, or is God interested in guiding me with each choice? Am I listening to Him or just what is the latest fad and all the influencers and countless books that all contradict each other?

We will keep doing what we tend to do.

If you cannot relate to food addiction, or addiction of any kind, good for you!!! But there are many of us who know what to call it and have made commitments to gain mastery through discipline and self control and forging new automated habits. If you struggle here, I see you!! I’m like you!! You are not alone. Gaining mastery over food addiction is not for the faint of heart. Gaining mastery over anything is hard, but so it being a slave. Choose your hard.

On top of addiction, I have a history of disordered thinking when it comes to food, and if I wasn’t careful, I can easily try to combat that thinking with other thinking that is just as disordered.

It’s not all or nothing. It’s AND.

And what is true for me might be different for you. The thing that’s the same is that we are all here making choices. And all those choices add up to be what comes next in our lives. The sooner I own that, the better I am mentally and emotionally. It’s empowering to take charge and not be victim. I found the MOST freedom and mental stability and confidence when I set some standards, some boundaries, and began living by them. I started keeping my promises to myself. Doing so built so much self respect and self trust, unlike anything else in my life.

(There are certain things I just don’t do, certain foods I just don’t eat and drinks I don’t drink. Not because I “can’t” but because the pleasure I have feeling GREAT outweighs the pleasure I have for those few fleeting minutes. I don’t label things as good or bad, right or wrong. I’m not dogmatic about it. I have chosen something that better aligns with what I respect for myself. What my favorite version of myself do in this instance? )

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What are we most afraid of? Therein lies our biggest potential for transformation.

When we make a promise and it’s clear WHY, the next best thing we can do is get curious and childlike in our quest for how to take action to do it.

Curious and open is a state of a healthy mind.

I want a healthy mind!!

Fixed and stubborn and closed is the opposite of that. That was also part of my disordered thinking.

The solution wasn’t to stay fixed just with new opinions. It was to be curious, in a state of wonder and gratitude, dreaming and creating, inspired to do more, be more. It is part of my addiction and my disordered mind to need to be right and stuck in my thinking and my behavior. Why was I expecting different results with the same mindset?

Impossible!

I know I’m not the only one to struggle here!!

Living to eat…fleeting pleasure.

Eating to live…nourishing and fueling for what is most important in our ONE LIFE.

When you know why it matters, you know what you need to do. The WHY is the most important part. Don’t skip figuring this out. It literally means everything.

Pray about this. God has you here for a reason. You are pretty important!!

By the way, my dad lost 74 pounds in 7 months at the age of 77. He now loves and gets great pleasure eating the foods that give him the best nourishment and fuel to live and love fully. He is celebrating his 80th birthday this week!!